How to return to the Catholic Church

If you were baptized Catholic and drifted away, returning to the Catholic Church is simpler than most people expect. For most people there's no paperwork, no class and no interview: you go to Confession, and you start coming to Mass again. A few situations, like a marriage outside the Church, need a conversation with a priest, and even those rarely close the door. You are welcome back, today.

Do I need to do anything official to come back?

Usually not. Baptism marks you as belonging to Christ for good, and nothing you did while you were away undid it. You don't have to rejoin, sign anything, or explain to anyone where you've been. You are still Catholic.

Registering at a parish is a good idea once you've found one you like. It helps with practical things later, like a baptism or a wedding. But you don't need to register before you go to Mass or Confession. You can walk in this weekend.

What most people need to do

1. Go to Confession. Start by telling the priest how long it's been: "Father, it's been about twelve years." Then confess the serious sins you can remember, with roughly how often. Years of missing Sunday Mass belong on that list (CCC 2181). You don't need a perfect memory. We walk through it in going back to Confession after years.
2. Come back to Mass and receive Communion. Once you've been absolved, you can receive Communion at your next Mass. The only preparation is the usual one: no food or drink for an hour beforehand, except water and medicine (Code of Canon Law, can. 919).
3. Keep coming on Sundays. This is the part that makes it last. One Mass a week, and Confession every month or two, will carry you further than any big resolution.

That's it for most people. If you'd like help with what to say, our guide to how to go to Confession covers it step by step, and the priest will gladly guide you if you forget.

Can I go to Mass before I go to Confession?

Yes. Please do. You don't have to sort anything out before you sit in a pew. Mass is where you belong, and going this Sunday is a good first step even if Confession is a week or two away.

What waits is Communion. If you know you have serious sins you haven't confessed, the Church asks you to receive the sacrament of Reconciliation first (CCC 1385). So for now, stay in your seat during Communion, or let others pass. Nobody is watching or keeping track. Plenty of people stay seated for all kinds of reasons. If you're unsure where you stand, see receiving Communion in mortal sin.

Situations to talk to a priest about

Some situations need more than Confession. None of them means you can't come back. They mean a conversation, and sometimes a little time. You can call the parish office and say, "I'm a Catholic coming back after years away, and I'd like to talk to a priest." That sentence is all it takes.

• If you married outside the Church. A Catholic who married outside the Church without permission can usually have the marriage made valid in the Church. This is called a convalidation: the couple exchange their consent before a priest or deacon, often in a small, simple ceremony. If either of you was married before, there may be a process to look at the earlier marriage first. The priest will explain the path, and he may ask you to wait on Communion until it's settled. You're still welcome at every Mass in the meantime.
• If you joined another church. Tell the priest. In many cases Confession is all that's needed, sometimes with a short profession of faith. If you formally left the Catholic Church or publicly renounced the faith, mention that too: there may be a Church penalty to lift first. The priest knows how to handle it, sometimes with a quick word to the diocese, and it doesn't close the door. Either way, the time you spent praying and reading Scripture elsewhere wasn't wasted.
• If you've had an abortion, or helped someone have one. Any priest can hear this in Confession and absolve it. This is one of the things people most fear bringing back, and it shouldn't keep you away. Many dioceses also offer quiet support for healing afterwards.
• If you were never confirmed. You can still go to Confession and receive Communion. When you're ready, ask your parish about Confirmation for adults.

If you were never baptized, or you were baptized in another Christian church, the path looks different. That's what OCIA is for.

How do I find a welcoming parish?

The closest parish is a fine place to start, but it doesn't have to be your home. Give yourself a few weeks to look around.

• Try different Masses. An early Sunday Mass is usually quiet and short. The late morning one is busier, with families and music. A Saturday evening or Sunday evening Mass often draws younger adults.
• Read the parish website or bulletin. Look for Confession times that fit your week, and for groups for returning Catholics. Some parishes run them for exactly this reason.
• Say hello to the priest after Mass. "I've been away a long time" is enough. Most priests will light up.
• Choose anonymity if that helps. Some people make their first Confession back at a parish across town, then settle into the one nearby. That's fine.

Welcoming doesn't always mean friendly greeters at the door. Sometimes it means a priest who's patient in the confessional and a Mass where you can pray. You'll know it when you find it.

What to expect at Mass after years away

The Mass itself hasn't changed, but a few words have, if you've been gone since before 2011. When the priest says "The Lord be with you," the people now answer "And with your spirit." The Creed begins "I believe." Before Communion you say, "Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed."

Most parishes have the words in a booklet or on a card in the pew. Stand, sit and kneel when everyone else does. If you lose your place, just pray. Nobody expects you to have it memorized.

When you're ready to receive Communion, you can receive on the tongue or in the hand. The minister says "The Body of Christ," and you answer "Amen."

If you feel out of place

Many people feel like visitors for the first few weeks back. That's normal, and it passes. You might feel nothing in particular at Mass, or a lot more than you expected. Either is fine. Faith comes back the way it grows: slowly, by showing up.

If you left because someone in the Church hurt you, you can say so to a priest. Coming back doesn't mean pretending it didn't happen. And if you left because you stopped believing, coming to Mass while you're still unsure is allowed. Many people find their way back to faith from a pew, not before it.

Jesus said there is more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine who need no repentance (Luke 15:7). That joy is meant for you. For this week, pick one Mass and look up the Confession times at the same parish. That's the whole first step.