How to go to Confession: a step-by-step guide

If you're reading this, there's a fair chance you're nervous. That's normal. Most of the fear around Confession comes from not knowing what happens once you're in there, so here is the whole thing, start to finish. It usually takes five minutes. The priest has heard it all before, and nothing you say will shock him.

Before you go

Find a time. Most parishes hear confessions at set hours, often on Saturday afternoon or before a weekday Mass. The bulletin or parish website will have them. You can also call the parish office and ask for an appointment. Priests are asked for this more often than people think, and it's a good option if you want more time or more privacy.

Examine your conscience. Before you go, take some quiet time to look honestly at your life since your last Confession. The Catechism calls this preparation "in the light of the Word of God" (CCC 1454). We wrote a separate guide with questions to use: how to examine your conscience.

Write it down if that helps. A short list is completely fine, and you can read from it in the confessional. Plenty of people do. It's the simplest cure for going blank.

What happens inside

1. Choose how you'd like to confess. Most churches let you kneel behind a screen or sit face to face with the priest. Either is fine. Church law requires that a confessional with a fixed screen always be available, so you can confess behind one if you prefer (Code of Canon Law, can. 964).
2. Begin. Make the sign of the cross and say: "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been [three months] since my last confession." If you can't remember, an honest estimate is fine. If this is your first Confession in a long time, say so. It helps the priest help you.
3. Confess your sins. Name them plainly. The Church asks you to confess every serious (mortal) sin you're aware of, saying what it was and roughly how many times (CCC 1456; Code of Canon Law, can. 988). Confessing smaller, everyday sins is recommended too (CCC 1458). You don't need to tell the whole story behind each one. Short and honest is best.
4. Listen. The priest may give a word of advice or ask a question. Then he gives you a penance: usually a prayer, sometimes a small act of charity.
5. Pray an Act of Contrition. This is a short prayer telling God you're sorry and that you intend, with his help, not to sin again. You can say a traditional one or use your own words. We've included the traditional text in what to say in Confession.
6. Receive absolution. The priest prays the words of absolution, which end: "I absolve you from your sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." You answer, "Amen."
7. Go in peace. Some priests close with "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good," and you answer, "For his mercy endures for ever." Then you're done.
8. Do your penance. If it's a prayer, the easiest time is right away, in a pew, before you leave the church.

The questions people are afraid to ask

What if I forget a sin?

If you honestly forget something, it's forgiven along with everything else. If you remember later that it was serious, mention it at your next Confession. You don't need to rush back to the booth in a panic.

What if I freeze, or cry?

It happens all the time. You can simply say, "Father, I'm nervous, it's been a long time," and he'll take it from there. Priests are glad when someone comes back. That's not a sales line. Ask one.

Will the priest tell anyone?

No. The seal of Confession is absolute: a priest may never reveal what he hears in Confession, to anyone, for any reason (CCC 1467). Not to the police, not to your family, not to the bishop.

What if I don't know whether something is a sin?

Say so. "I'm not sure if this is a sin, but..." is a perfectly good sentence in a confessional. Helping you sort that out is part of the priest's job.