What to say in Confession, word for word

Knowing the words takes half the fear out of Confession. There isn't much to memorize, and if you forget a line the priest will simply help you. Here is the whole conversation, in order.

The conversation, start to finish

Some priests skip or shorten parts of this, or start with a short reading from Scripture. Follow his lead. There's no wrong move here except staying away.

How to name your sins

This is the part people overthink. You don't need theological vocabulary, and you don't need the backstory. Say what you did and roughly how often. For example:

• "I lied to my wife about money, about three times."
• "I missed Mass on Sunday twice, without a good reason."
• "I've been holding a grudge against my brother for months."
• "I looked at pornography, several times a week."

For serious sins, the Church asks you to say what kind of sin it was and how many times, as best you can (Code of Canon Law, can. 988). "Often" or "most weeks" is fine when you genuinely don't know the number. If something is hard to say, you can start with "Father, this is hard for me to say." He'll help.

The Act of Contrition

Any sincere prayer of sorrow will do, including one in your own words. Contrition means being truly sorry for your sins and resolving not to sin again (CCC 1451). This is the traditional prayer many Catholics learned as children:

If you don't have it memorized, bring it on your phone or a slip of paper. Many confessionals have a printed card with it too.

If you go blank

Tell the priest. "Father, I've forgotten what I wanted to say" is fine, and so is reading from a list. A written list is the simplest insurance against going blank, which is exactly why we built one.