Examination of conscience for young adults: honest questions for your twenties

This examination of conscience for young adults is for the years between 18 and 30, when nobody makes you go to Mass anymore and most choices are your own. The questions cover faith, dating, your phone, college and work, money, friends and the big question of what to do with your life. Read them before Confession and stop where something is true.

How do I use this examination?

Find ten quiet minutes. Pray first, even just "Holy Spirit, show me what I need to see." Then read the sections that fit your life and skip the rest. When a question lands, write a few words and roughly how often: "Skipped Mass, about four Sundays." That's your list.

If your last Confession was before Confirmation, that's fine. Start from where you are. Our guide to going back to Confession after years helps with the nerves. And if you tend to worry a lot about sin, keep it simple: confess what clearly stands out and trust the priest with the rest.

Do I still have to go to Mass if no one makes me?

Yes. The Sunday obligation is yours now, not your parents'. A Saturday evening Mass counts (Code of Canon Law, can. 1248). Missing on purpose without a serious reason is grave matter, while illness or caring for an infant excuses you (CCC 2181). More on that in is missing Mass a mortal sin.

• Have I missed Sunday Mass because I slept in, was hungover, was traveling, or didn't feel like it?
• When I moved for school or work, did I look for a parish, or let it slide?
• Have I prayed on most days, even for a minute?
• Have I gone to Confession at least once a year, and received Communion during the Easter season (CCC 2042)?
• Have I received Communion knowing I had a serious sin I hadn't confessed?
• Have I hidden my faith from new friends or coworkers, or mocked it to fit in?
• Have I turned to horoscopes, tarot or fortune-telling for guidance (CCC 2116)?

Dating, purity and your phone

Chastity applies to dating too. Sex belongs to marriage (CCC 2353), and the Catechism asks even engaged couples to keep for marriage the affection that belongs to married love (CCC 2350). That's hard in a culture that assumes otherwise, and grace is real.

• Have I let a relationship become sexual before marriage? Am I living with someone I'm not married to? (If so, talk it through with a priest.)
• Have I used dating apps in a way that treats people as options, or ghosted someone instead of giving an honest answer?
• Have I sent or asked for explicit photos?
• Have I looked at pornography? For many people it has become a habit that feels compulsive. Habit and anxiety can lessen how responsible you are (CCC 1735, 2352), and a counselor or support group can help alongside Confession. See how to quit porn as a Catholic.
• Have I spent hours scrolling in a way that left me less kind, less present or less prayerful?
• Have I said things online I'd never say to someone's face?

College and work

• Have I cheated on exams or papers, including handing in AI-written work as my own?
• Have I lied on a résumé or in an interview?
• Have I given an honest day's work, or wasted time I was paid for?
• Have I let others carry the group project, or taken credit that wasn't mine?
• Have I treated roommates, classmates and coworkers with respect, or joined in when someone was mocked?
• Have I made grades or a career the center of my life, giving up sleep, prayer and people for it?

Money and living on your own

Living on your own is freedom, and it's also the first time nobody sees how you spend your evenings or your paycheck. That's where a lot of quiet habits start, good ones and bad ones.

• Have I let my evenings slide into hours alone with a screen, and stopped reaching out to anyone?
• Have I kept my home and my commitments in order, or left things for someone else to clean up?
• Have I spent beyond my means, or used credit and buy-now-pay-later for things I didn't need?
• Have I paid what I owe: rent, loans, money borrowed from friends?
• Have I gambled or bet on sports with money I couldn't afford to lose (CCC 2413)?
• Have I gotten drunk or used drugs (CCC 2290-2291)? Have I driven after drinking?
• Have I looked after my health: sleep, food, rest?
• Have I given anything to the poor or to my parish, even a little?

Friends and family

• Now that I'm an adult, have I kept in touch with my parents and treated them with respect and gratitude (CCC 2218)?
• When I'm home, do I help, or act like a guest who's owed things?
• Have I gossiped in group chats, or shared screenshots that weren't mine to share?
• Have I stayed close to friends who pull me away from God, even when I knew it was hurting me?
• Have I been a good friend: showing up, keeping confidences, saying sorry first?
• Am I holding a grudge against a sibling or an old friend?

What is God asking of my life?

Every Christian has a vocation. Most people are called to marriage, some to the priesthood or religious life, and some serve God as single people. Not having it figured out isn't a sin. These questions are about whether you're asking at all.

• Have I asked God what he wants for my life, or only told him my plans?
• Have I avoided the thought of priesthood or religious life because I'm afraid of the answer?
• If I'm dating, am I looking for someone I could build a holy life with?
• Have I let fear, comparison or endless options keep me from committing to anything?

A priest or a spiritual director can help you think this through. Many young adults find it easier to talk about than they expected.

How do I know if it's a mortal sin?

Three things must all be true: the matter is grave, you knew it was seriously wrong, and you chose it freely (CCC 1857). Pressure, fear and habit can lessen responsibility (CCC 1735). You don't have to sort every case out yourself. Confess what you know is serious, by kind and roughly how many times, and if you're unsure, say so. Our page on what a mortal sin is explains more.

Priests are glad to see people your age in line. You don't need a perfect list or the right words. Bring what you found, start with whatever is hardest to say, and let the priest help with the rest.