Examination of conscience for teens: a plain guide before Confession

This examination of conscience for teens is a list of honest questions about your actual life: home, school, friends and your phone. Read it before Confession and notice which questions hit. You don't need to answer every one. And if you're nervous about going on your own for the first time, the second half of this page is for you.

How do I examine my conscience?

Find a quiet spot. Say a short prayer, something like "Holy Spirit, help me see what I need to see." Then go through the questions slowly. When one is true for you, write a few words: "Lied to my mom, a few times." That's all you need.

Think back to your last Confession. If you can't remember when it was, that's fine. Start from where you are. And if you tend to worry a lot about sin, keep it simple: confess what clearly stands out, and trust the priest with the rest.

God, prayer and Mass

• Have I prayed at all, even briefly, on most days?
• Have I missed Sunday Mass when I could have gone? (If you couldn't get there because no one took you, that isn't on you.)
• Have I spent Mass on my phone, or making fun of it with friends?
• Have I used God's name or Jesus' name as a swear word?
• Have I hidden my faith because I didn't want to look weird, or mocked someone else's?
• Have I received Communion knowing I had a serious sin I hadn't confessed?

Parents and family

• Have I obeyed my parents in what they asked for my good and the family's, or only when it suited me (CCC 2217)?
• Have I lied to my parents about where I was, who I was with, or what I was doing?
• Have I been rude or cold to them, or slammed doors to make a point?
• Have I been mean to my brothers or sisters, or started fights on purpose?
• Have I helped at home, or left everything for someone else?

If a parent or anyone else is hurting you, that isn't your sin, and you don't have to keep it secret. Tell a teacher, a school counselor or another adult you trust.

School, friends and honesty

• Have I cheated on tests or homework, or handed in work that a friend or an AI wrote as if it were mine?
• Have I lied to get out of trouble, or to look cooler than I am?
• Have I gossiped or passed on a rumor, true or not?
• Have I bullied anyone, joined in, or laughed along when someone was being picked on?
• Have I left someone out on purpose to hurt them?
• Have I stolen anything, even something small, from a store, a friend or home?
• Have I drunk alcohol, vaped or used drugs?
• Have I gone along with something I knew was wrong because my friends were doing it?

Phones and social media

• Have I posted, shared or screenshotted something to embarrass someone?
• Have I said things online or anonymously that I'd never say to someone's face?
• Have I let my phone eat up sleep, homework, family time or prayer?
• Have I hidden apps or accounts from my parents, or lied about my age to use them?
• Have I compared myself to people online until I felt jealous or bitter?

Purity

God made your body and your desires good. These questions are about treating them, and other people, with respect. You don't need to describe details to the priest. Naming the sin and roughly how often is enough.

• Have I looked at pornography or sexual content on purpose?
• Have I done sexual things, alone or with someone else?
• Have I sent, asked for or kept sexual pictures of anyone? (If someone is pressuring you, talk to an adult you trust. You don't have to handle it alone.)
• Have I talked about people in a crude way, or treated someone as a body instead of a person?
• Have I let a relationship go further than I knew was right?

Will the priest tell my parents?

No. Everything you say in Confession is protected by the seal of confession. The priest can never tell anyone what you confessed: not your parents, not your teachers, not anyone. He can't use it in any way, either (CCC 1467). The Church treats this as absolute.

He also won't be shocked. Priests have heard every sin a teenager can commit, many times over, and most of them remember being nervous at your age.

Going to Confession on your own for the first time

1. Pick a time. Most parishes list Confession times on their website, often on Saturday afternoon. You can also ask a priest for an appointment.
2. Choose screen or face to face. Many churches let you kneel behind a screen so the priest can't see you. Either way is fine.
3. Start simply. Say "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been about a year since my last Confession," or however long it's been. Then read your list. Here's what to say in Confession, word for word.
4. Listen and pray. The priest may give some advice, then a penance, then ask you to pray an Act of Contrition. If you forget it, say so and he'll help you through it.

For the whole thing start to finish, see how to go to Confession.

What if I'm not sure something was serious?

A sin is mortal only when three things are true together: it's seriously wrong, you knew it was seriously wrong, and you chose it freely anyway (CCC 1857). Habit, fear and pressure can lessen how much something is your fault (CCC 1735).

You don't have to work all that out alone. If you're unsure, confess it and say "I'm not sure if this was serious." If you notice you go over the same worries again and again, tell the priest that too. He can help, and he'll be glad you came.