Examination of conscience for adults: questions for real life

This examination of conscience for adults follows the Ten Commandments and the precepts of the Church, but the questions are about grown-up life: your job, your money, your marriage, your children, your phone. Read it slowly before Confession and stop where something catches. You won't need every question, only the ones that are true for you.

How should I use this examination of conscience?

Find ten quiet minutes. Ask the Holy Spirit for light, in your own words or simply "Lord, show me what I need to see." Then read the sections that apply to you and skip the rest. A single person can pass over the marriage questions. Someone retired won't need all the work ones.

When a question lands, write a few words and, if you can, roughly how often. That's your list. If you've never used a list like this, our basic examination of conscience is shorter and explains the method. This one goes further into the places adults tend to sin without noticing: the office, the bank account, the marriage, the group chat.

One word before you start. If you tend to worry too much about sin, keep it simple: confess what clearly stands out, and trust the priest with the rest.

Your relationship with God

1. I am the Lord your God; you shall have no other gods before me

• Has my faith shaped my actual week, or only the hour I spend at Mass?
• When I made big decisions about work, money or family, did I bring them to God at all?
• Have I deliberately refused to believe something the Church teaches, without trying to understand it?
• Have I despaired of God's mercy, or presumed on it, sinning because I could "just confess it later" (CCC 2091-2092)?
• Have I received Communion knowing I was in serious sin and hadn't been to Confession (CCC 1385)?
• Have I hidden my faith at work or among friends because I was embarrassed by it?

2. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain

• Have I used God's name or Jesus' name as an exclamation, especially in front of my children?
• Have I sworn an oath or signed a statement I knew was false?
• Have I mocked the faith, priests or holy things, in conversation or online?

3. Remember to keep holy the Lord's day

• Have I skipped Sunday Mass for sports, travel or work I could have arranged around it?
• Have I made it harder for my family to get to Mass, or let my children stop going without a word?
• Have I treated Sunday as a catch-up day for work email, or asked others to work on Sunday when it wasn't necessary?

Marriage, family and the people around you

4. Honor your father and your mother

• If I'm married, have I been attentive to my spouse, or treated them like a roommate who handles logistics?
• Have I complained about my spouse to others, or criticized them in front of the children?
• Have I taught my children to pray and to know the faith, by what I do as well as what I say?
• Have I given my children my attention, or mostly my phone?
• Have I cared for my aging parents with time, patience and help, as far as I'm able (CCC 2218)?
• Have I respected my boss and others in legitimate authority, even when I disagreed with them?

5. You shall not kill

• Have I texted while driving, driven after drinking, or driven in anger?
• Have I been cruel in arguments online, writing things I'd never say to someone's face?
• Have I nursed resentment toward a relative or coworker for months or years?
• Have I led someone into sin by my example, especially someone younger?
• Have I had, encouraged or helped with an abortion? If this is part of your story, God's mercy is greater, and a priest will receive you gently.
• Have I neglected my health through overwork, excess, or refusing care I need?

Faithfulness and purity

6 and 9. You shall not commit adultery; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife

• Have I been faithful to my spouse in my heart and on my phone, including flirting or an emotional closeness that belongs to my marriage?
• Have I kept messages or friendships I would hide from my spouse?
• Have we used contraception rather than staying open to life, as the Church teaches (CCC 2370)?
• Have I used intimacy in my marriage as a reward or a punishment?
• If I'm single or dating, have I let a relationship become sexual before marriage?
• Have I watched shows or followed accounts that I know feed lust?

Work, money and honesty

7 and 10. You shall not steal; you shall not covet your neighbor's goods

• Have I given my employer an honest day's work, or padded my hours and wasted paid time?
• If I manage people, have I paid fair wages on time and treated them with dignity (CCC 2434)?
• Have I been honest on my taxes, expense reports and insurance claims?
• Have I paid my debts, or borrowed with no real plan to repay?
• Have I gambled or spent in a way that put my family's needs at risk (CCC 2413)?
• Have I given to the poor in proportion to what I have, or only when it cost me nothing?
• Has envy of other people's houses, careers or vacations, often scrolled past online, made me bitter or ungrateful?

8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor

• Have I lied at work to cover a mistake or to take credit that wasn't mine?
• Have I revealed someone's faults without a good reason (detraction), or said false things that hurt their name (calumny) (CCC 2477)?
• Have I shared stories or posts without checking whether they were true?
• Have I kept the confidences people trusted me with?
• Have I assumed the worst about someone without real evidence?

The precepts of the Church

The precepts are the minimum the Church asks of every Catholic (CCC 2041-2043).

• Have I gone to Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation, and rested from unnecessary work?
• Do I know which holy days my country keeps, or do I let them pass without checking?
• Have I confessed my sins at least once a year?
• Have I received Communion at least once during the Easter season?
• Have I fasted on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday (if I'm 18 to 59 and healthy) and abstained from meat on Ash Wednesday and Lent's Fridays?
• Have I helped provide for the needs of the Church, with money, time or both?

How do I know if a sin is mortal?

For a sin to be mortal, three things must be true at once: the matter is grave, you knew it was seriously wrong, and you chose it with deliberate consent (CCC 1857). Many questions above touch grave matter, but grave matter alone doesn't make a mortal sin. Fear, habit and pressure can also lessen how responsible you are (CCC 1735).

You don't have to settle every case yourself. Confess what you know is serious, by kind and roughly how many times. If you're unsure about something, say so: "Father, I'm not sure whether this was serious." Helping you sort that out is part of his work.

What do I do with what I found?

Keep your list short, a few words per sin, and bring it to Confession. If it's been a while, our guide on how to go to Confession walks through every step, and what to say in Confession gives you the words. If one of these questions stung, bring exactly that. The sacrament was made for it.